Friday, December 27, 2013

You might be a conehead if.......

Out of the heat of summer and the cool sun of fall comes winter. And with winter comes cold and rain, short days and long opportunities to do paperwork. Ugh. I have worked hard to develop antidotes to this short light season that don't involve alcohol, and one of these is an interest in conifers. After years of cultivating this interest, and hanging around others with the same affinity, I think I can call myself a true conehead. So, how would one know this? Here are a few clues:

You might be a conehead if:

1) You stopped caring about flowers years ago, but.....

                                                     2) Your garden is wonderfully colorful all year around.



3) You begin to use words describing the color palette of your conifers that sound more like interior decorator lingo, or possibly wine reviews.

4) The term "stomatal band pattern" becomes a rallying cry, and an invitation to raise a magnifying glass for all those gathered round.

5) You walk up to a conifer, then look, touch and smell all at the same time.

6) In the southeast, if you have conifers (other than pines) with cones, you throw cocktail parties to talk about them.

7) You've started to speak in Latin without really trying.

8) "Dwarf" now means "grows less than 6" a year.

9) The plant you spent the most on is the smallest one you own.

10) You've started to ask complete strangers what they know about   understocks, compatibility, cloning and root pruning.

11) You recruit your friends to join you in your habit, dragging them out on cold, blustery days to one garden or another with good conifer specimens.


Don't knock it till you've tried it. As addictions go, this one is pretty benign, and loads of fun! Friends, heat and insect-free gardening, rich doses of texture, lots to learn and enjoy. Be the most colorful, interesting, enthusiastic gardener on your block, and before you know it, spring will be here!!

Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world.  ~John Muir

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