Monday, July 18, 2022

New Eyes

 

 

   The world is full of magic things, 

waiting for our senses to grow sharper.

W B Yeats



I am not sure, but I am wondering if I am I'm getting old. Don't laugh; I'm serious.

 Maybe it's the simple accumulation of years. Maybe it's the Covid fog that has blanketed our typical daily lives with the confusing and the unexpected. Maybe it's the new myopic focus that comes along with the occasional ache or pain. 

 I no longer feel the urge to travel. In fact, I am perfectly content to stay at home. But this is a big change for me. Sure, I can point to a myriad of excuses- too expensive to fly, drive, stay; Covid worries; schedule cancellations, delays, crowds, crazy travelers. Oh, and who will keep the cat?

But these irritants never bothered me before.  

We've ended up living in the place I consider my top vacation destination. I am retired from a job I loved, so I am able to putter around doing the job I loved on a very personal scale while having none of the hard, hot, cold, frustrating, exhausting, confining tasks that go along with running an actual business. My adorable husband has almost retired, too. At any rate, we do have much more "quality time" together.

I spend a lot of time these days enjoying the sky, the water, the sky on the water. I relish every sunset or moonrise. I love the way the colors change from minute to minute, and the way those colors play on the water and the land beyond.

I can spend time watching my plants grow, especially when I have managed to select another one the deer don't like. Between the salt air and those deer, growing plants here can be quite a challenge. But I have enjoyed both the mental and physical trials, and I am ending up with quite a lovely garden.

 


I've also lucked into such a lovely group of friends here. And yes, I do have many buddies left behind from other homes and work that I miss.

 

But when we stepped into this paradise of raw, forthright landscape, we found that same unpretentious character in the individuals it attracted. Once again, I feel I am right where I belong, with no need to look outside of what is right in front of me.    



Clearly I craved the scenery, the sensations, the scraping away of brain plaque buildup from the stress and strains of work. There is no doubt, as I reread these descriptions, that I needed that total immersion into the environment of "different" to get back my perspective of "normal".




But these days, every day is a new day. I can do pretty much anything I want to do from attending the minute details to the broadest of imaginings. And most important of all, I can see the world anew thru the eyes of my grandchildren. 

There is no more hopeful, broadening, regenerating perspective than this.



Now, I am finally feeling like I am home, instead of running away from home. 
These old eyes are finally seeing what's been right in front of me the whole time. 
                                          And I am just in time to embrace the magic.

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes,

 but in having new eyes.

Marcel Proust




We must not cease from exploration. 

And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began 

and to know the place for the first time. 

T S Elliot